So, life has just taken a turn.
I started a new job three weeks ago. Today, I quit. I just couldn’t do it. I won’t go in to it here, but it was just far too much for me to handle. Last week, my first invoice for my student loans came it. This will shock no one, but as a college grad, I am deep in debt. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it. But Chris decided that he was going to contribute equally to my bills. At first, I was really uncomfortable with this. In fact, I’m still really uncomfortable. I can’t even say for sure that I would do the same for him. But he’s resolved that this is what he wants. Then last night when I was in pieces because of how unhappy work has made me, he told me he already had it figured out, and that even if I went six months without a job, we’d be fine.
So now I’m unemployed. I’m looking in to every channel I can think of for work. I feel like a heel for quitting, and I feel scared that I have failed myself. I even feel angry that now I will willingly rely on someone to literally survive. I also feel loved and supported in a way I never knew possible. I don’t know what is going to happen next, and that is the scariest feeling of all, but I don’t feel alone.
So I guess I’m ok.